Kill me?“The bible tells us Jesus was a monster”-Tairrie B
He must be if he lets me live the intolerable life so dark and lonesome why am I not dead? Why is it that he does not listen to my cries when I beg for death?
Highlight of Tuesday
Is it wicked of me that when I got attacked Tuesday night a part of me wanted for him to kill me? As I felt the cold blade against my neck I wanted nothing more than to feel my own blood pour from my neck. However I think I actually scared him more than he did me…as he held the knife across my neck I told him that if he decided to spill my blood then I would not feel it as this is not my body, this body I am trapped in and I want nothing more than to escape and be free…so go on cut my throat and let me last breath pollute this air that you breathe. I felt him slowly let go as I turned towards him, then I felt the knife press against my heart I told him drive the knife deep into my heart I shall not feel it for I am already dead and it is people like you who have killed me…..drive your blade into my black decaying heart see what happens for it will be truly amazing….as my rotting heart will pour from within me and stain your hands forever more. He looked at me not knowing what to say he looked some what scared not knowing what to do. I looked at him and said to him please kill me you will be doing the world a favour by getting rid of something like me….he looked at me and look scared he didn’t know what to do so he ran away…I will never know the reason why he decided to do so and why he thought one moment that he was going to kill me but within the next he didn’t.
I slowly began to walk home as I felt the rain upon my face comforting my with every raindrop that fell from the dark cloudy sky. It went over and over in my mind “why am I still alive?” was I just another one of his cattle that he thought he could control was I going to be just another victim? Or was I something more…did the tables turn and he became my victim? Whatever the reason the I am still here and I can not help but wonder why? Was he too scared to cut the putrid skin that shrouds my decaying heart or was he too scared to drive the knife deep within me and free this morbid soul trapped within me? Was he scared that I would come back for him? Well I am still here and still I sit here and wonder is it a good thing or a bad thing? Why has my time not yet some sooner, was it I that scared him off have I missed my chance to leave this cruel place?
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"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality." -- Jules de Gaultier
Vikki
xXx
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Its Better To Have Loved And Lost, Then To Have Never Loved At All -
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Its Better To Have Loved And Lost, Then To Have Never Loved At All -
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Its Better To Have Loved And Lost, Then To Have Never Loved At All -
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Clever words on smooth tongue talking shove it brother just keep walking!
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From Lashes to Ashes, from Lust to Dust in your Sweetest Torment i am lost.
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)
RULES:
1- You can kiss the person who kissed you!
2- You can\'t kiss the person more than 3 times
3- You -MUST- kiss 6 other people
4- You should kiss them in public! Paste it on their user page! c\'mon..don\'t be scared of public displays of affection
5- Random kisses are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
6- You should most definitly get started kissing right away!
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Depression of the day falls upon me, it traps me. hurting me thoughout the hours of light.
Night falls, and the light of the night lifts me high. High above all, so free.
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If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' narrow chinks of his cavern.
- William Blake
Like the username, I'm your poison girl too
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href="http://www.myspace.com/christinemeadows ">MySpace
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